The Mondegreen Song

(Think strummy, vaguely Celtic folk music.)

I lie in the bed of a small rural clinic

Body all aching, Lord, I don't know why...

The doctor is good, though a bit of a cynic;

Just now the girl with colitis walks by.

Thank you for comin', the place ain't first-rate.

The rooms aren't private, it's noisy at night

To get to the men's room, go left, then go straight,

You'll see a bathroom on the right.

The doctor is gone, he's been gone for an hour

I'm hoping to hell that Nurse Betty comes soon,

I'll ask to her give me a shave and a shower,

"Just brush my teeth before you leave me, baby."

I was never a very romantic-type feller

I'm a loner and shy, don't know just what to do;

I've got to find me the right way to tell her:

"You see the sky? The sky's in love with you!"

I’m pumped full of drugs, but I never felt straighter.

I have to admit my life is a mess

I haven't got long, and I so want to date her

B-B-B-Betty, B-B-B-Betty, B-B-B-Betty in a dress.