The Mondegreen Song
(Think strummy, vaguely Celtic folk music.)
I lie in the bed of a small rural clinic
Body all aching, Lord, I don't know why...
The doctor is good, though a bit of a cynic;
Just now the girl with colitis walks by.
Thank you for comin', the place ain't first-rate.
The rooms aren't private, it's noisy at night
To get to the men's room, go left, then go straight,
You'll see a bathroom on the right.
The doctor is gone, he's been gone for an hour
I'm hoping to hell that Nurse Betty comes soon,
I'll ask to her give me a shave and a shower,
"Just brush my teeth before you leave me, baby."
I was never a very romantic-type feller
I'm a loner and shy, don't know just what to do;
I've got to find me the right way to tell her:
"You see the sky? The sky's in love with you!"
I’m pumped full of drugs, but I never felt straighter.
I have to admit my life is a mess
I haven't got long, and I so want to date her
B-B-B-Betty, B-B-B-Betty, B-B-B-Betty in a dress.